My 6th Monday... Groundhog Day

What’s your normal like? What are your best days like? What are your most frustrating days like?

For me, all three of these things happen in the spring semester. Every year it’s a combination of mass chaos to make sure I’ve planned enough, taught enough, made an impact and basically been the ring leader of my very own shit show—on literally a daily basis. That is my normal.

We are working on Week 6 of Sheltering In Place. And while most now feel like they are hitting their groove and really getting the hang of teaching online and utilizing zooms, I seem to be struggling more and more. I can’t even really pinpoint why I am uninspired—Is it being locked at home? Is it having crappy wifi and everything taking longer than it should? Is it not seeing my kids? Is it the ridiculous amount of zooms each week that feel like they are sucking out my soul? By this point in the year, the things planned, coordinated and organized has me crossing off my to-do list post-it notes right and left. I am the queen of post-its on my desk and I LOVE crossing things off! But these days, I barely have anything to write down.

Now, I am not a crier, but I woke up this Monday and just cried. Because it’s the 6^th Monday I haven’t set an alarm, I haven’t rushed out of the house by 6am to make sure the week is completely planned to a tee and I haven’t made copies or had a mini-pep talk on my 45 minute drive to school. But this Monday is still a little harder. This week was supposed to be our March Madness, our Super Bowl, our World Series… I haven’t made chaperone packets, I haven’t copied schedules for all the kids, I haven’t assembled my color coded schedule in my trip binder. It feels so strange to start a week that should be our biggest week of the year with still so many unknowns. While I appreciate all the work being done for our kids to have some type of virtual experience, there is just no replacement for the feeling of State Conference. State FFA Conference is truly life changing for so many kids. It inspires kids, it models excellence, it provides an outlet for leadership, and it creates connections that last a lifetime. A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a highly involved senior and he said, “I just wish I knew at the last conference (SLE) that I might never see some of my friends again.” That hit hard—straight daggers to my heart. While they have social media, he is right—seniors go to college, or go to work or go to the military and move on from this organization. There will be no goodbyes, no hugs, no last minute selfies while I yell to get in the bus because we’re leaving.

One of my favorite parts of my job is kids being on the state stage being recognized for their hard work. But without state conference it’s just a hard sell to be excited about any of it. The kids feel robbed and they should. The most unfortunate part is there is no one to blame. And in 5 years when things are back to the chaotic normal, this time period will be so significant for the kids that it has affected and most others will have just moved on and forgotten about the year kids got mailed their plaques and awards.

But I have been trying to justify this madness in my mind and be positive and keep kids excited, but at the end of the day it’s flat hard. Kids that have been to state conference, know what they’re missing this week. They know they won’t go to a workshop, they won’t take a photo with their favorite state officer, they won’t fill their bag at the career show, they won’t get soaked on Splash Mountain at Disneyland, they won’t say something silly and turn red in front of Mr. Mooney, they won’t watch the new state officers be elected with blue and gold confetti spraying for what feels like forever.

I know. Don’t say it. I know what you’re thinking. WHO CARES? Me, bitches—I care. My heart is literally breaking for every kid (and teacher) that won’t be in Anaheim this week. It’s just not the same and there is nothing we can do. That’s probably the hardest part to choke down. There is nothing I can do to make this better for my kids. They bust their butts and they have worked hard for this experience that won’t happen. There is no band-aid or remedy for this void. My hope is that the kids that are missing this week can remember the things they loved the most about State Conference. Maybe a person they met, an all nighter they stayed up giggling in their rooms, or a picture that will stay with them forever. But as someone who still remembers parts my high school state conference experiences, I hope my kids can hold out hope for next year and for the seniors they can remember the prior years and the experiences they had and friends they’ve made.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Christopher Reeve

At the end of the day, my heroes are my kids. Even the ones that are struggling right now-- They are trying, working to make sense of having everything that is their normal taken from them. I lean on their strength and bask in their dedication to leadership even when they don’t know when they will see each other again. It’s a humbling experience to watch children be strong despite the obstacles and unknowns.
Until next Monday... Until next Year...

'

Most Days It will Be Okay...

As the end of the fall semester comes to a close, it's hard to maintain focus and drive when everyone on campus seems to be fading fast. Its become increasingly difficult not to go home before the sun goes down, which seems earlier each day. It is a struggle to get kids to maintain participation when friends and siblings are home from college or the military. In a world of social media and technology at their finger tips, it's hard to explain the reality of studying for finals instead of using the newest snapchat filter.

I know each December, I have this feeling of frustration with the lack of involvement, follow through, dedication to something other than getting "likes" in a virtual world. Don't get me wrong, I have some great kids that do amazing things. But I wish there was some magical formula for preventing this December Slump.  With my kids, it seems like there are two or three that drive the train of dedication for everyone during this month. However it creates animosity towards people don't hold up their end of the deal, which is never good.

At the beginning of December I attended the NAAE Convention. It was a really neat and different experience. My favorite thing was being inspired by teachers from other states and the activities they do in their chapters. By far, my favorite was an Ice Fishing Tournament Fundraiser!! When I figure out how to make that happen in Cali, I'll let you all know. The professional development was exactly what I needed for a little boost to finish the semester and to think about next semester. I wish there was something for my kids that provided the same refresh or re-invigoration.

Maybe in all my spare time, we'll someday create a chapter conference that works to provide time for all kids to do some team building, leadership training and planning time, so we can extinct the December Slump? Until then I will hold out for our Mid-Year officer retreat and MFE/ALA conferences. Fingers crossed they do the trick...

Not all of December was a waste, we did some pretty cool things this month. Over 70 Sonoma County Secret Santa gifts donated, over 500 pairs of socks and 12 handmade blankets donated to North Sonoma County Services, and 17 student volunteers for our Sectional Service Night at the Redwood Empire Food Bank. At least this month, they were LIVING TO SERVE.

 Blanket Making

 Our 17 kids at the Sectional 

 The whole Sonoma Section

Delivering our gifts for the Sonoma County Secret Santa program

Next, next, next...

Welcome back to school folks!! 

I just realized I haven't written blog post since June. I mean that's quite a while, right? It's not for lack of trying. I started many posts this summer, would get about halfway done and realize: who cares? Or It doesn't matter! Or I'm just ranting! So I deleted them. 

This summer has been a crazy one. I worked the majority of the summer-- you're shocked I'm sure... Not! It was mostly fun stuff like conferences, retreats, curriculum work and working with students. Add 21 days of fair, school construction keeping me out of a new temporary classroom until 2 days before our start date. I like to think I am mentally tough, but this summer nearly broke me. But the school year has begun so we are headed onward and upward! 

This year, like every year of my short career, I am teaching a new class. An agriculture chemistry class. This class is part of the new agriscience pathway, and is the second class in the pathway. The  first class is called Sustainable Ag Biology, it was one of my new classes last year. This year I have 2 sections of mostly freshman in biology and they are the cutest, most eager little beings. I wish I could bottle their energy and enthusiasm.

As for Ag & Soil Chemistry, I have been nervous all summer. I feel like I prepped a lot over summer, did some awesome professional development, and made some great contacts to use as resources. But still nervous... Fortunately, I have many kiddos in the class who have already taken chemistry, which to some makes it more nerve racking, but actually eases my anxiety. 

This is not a possibility in the new classes 

(or any of my classes previously)

The class itself is hard yet fun. There are a ton of labs and projects that help teach the content and for me that's a real win. I'd rather be doing stuff and making a mess, like we did today. Even though I haven't been a teacher long, the direction of the classes I teach, have dramatically headed towards more science. I like science fortunately, but I know others in our profession who have struggled with that movement. I see it as job security really, if it's the avenue to get more students in my class to be able to have a little understanding of agriculture and FFA, then I am A-O-K with it. 

There's a lot more of this happening when I 

get my plans done for the month. 

These classes of the Agriscience Pathway, give us the time to teach science concepts with real life applications that students can use. Whether traditional Ag students or not, the classes expose kids to science, agriculture, real life and hands-on skills.

The prep work I do for each class is more than I've done for classes previously. But in our short 3 weeks of school, I've seen a change in students that has evoked a positive response that encourages me to keep prepping. Stay tuned for the rest of the year! Cool projects, Neat labs, Awesome kids... #WhyITeachAg

 

Turn it Around Tuesday

So it's been an interesting week thus far... Let's just say F the time change! For real-- it blows! Getting up at my usual 4:45am has been a complete drag this week!

But hey, it gets better! And looking on the bright side, I love that it's lighter outside later. 

Couple things have been weighing heavily on my mind lately.

#1- being chunky 

#2- kids complaining things are hard 

#3- kids not being prepared 

#4- next year 

#1- Alright so I basically have been chunky since birth! A whopping 11 pound 10 ounces baby-- yes! Seriously my mother is a bada$$! So couple weeks ago I decided that I should get my butt in shape. I started a detox, that eliminates caffeine, gluten, sugar, dairy, and basically anything else that has been a delicious part of my daily diet for the last 27 years. Pray for me! But in all seriousness it has been a great week! I've lost 7 pounds and 2 inches!!! Amazeballs! I'm slightly impressed with myself... But I'm just stubborn enough to set my mind on something and not let it go... So I committed and I'm making this detox my b***h! Hahaha (check back at the end of the month-- it's a 28 day detox). I also am training for RunDisney! Oh man! 

(Rockin a beer belly since 1987)

#2 - It's hard! It's so hard! I can't do this cause it's hard! I don't know how to do it it's hard! Seriously this has become my least favorite statement... Recently my response has been "uh yeah things are hard, if they weren't everyone would do it", my other typical response is "if you don't work hard then you'll never get ahead". Not sure if it's the age or what, but my students constantly say everything is hard. I don't understand how I can explain to them, that high school is literally the easiest thing they'll  do for the rest of their lives? I feel like we have created such good test takers, which has hindered kids abilities to critically think and be creative. To be honest, it sucks! But I continue to ask them to do more, try more and be more... If I didn't, I would just be adding to the mediocre standards that they've been held to. Cheers to pushing them to be better! 

Push those who are capable of greatness... They'll appreciate eventually...

#3- This is more directed towards my one class of middle school kids but also to high school I suppose.... What the heck is with kids that aren't prepared?! Like oh yup I wrote that syllabus with "materials you must bring daily" for fun! Actually it's like a suggestion, right? Uh no! Bring your junk, be prepared, and stop being a slacker!! Suck it up princess! 

#4- Next year... Um what about it? Yup I am keeping my job! Hallelujah thank baby Jesus! It's been overall a great year. I feel like I found my place... My forever school (well as long as they'll tolerate my craziness)... But it has had me thinking about where I live, future junk, whatnot... To move or not to move? I love my house! But should I save a little money and move the 35 miles closer to my job? Future junk? Well that kinda goes with living location because well I'll never meet anyone in this ridonkculous town I live it... Too much of a square I guess... So many options, too many choices... 

Seriously my yard is freakin awesome!