My 6th Monday... Groundhog Day

What’s your normal like? What are your best days like? What are your most frustrating days like?

For me, all three of these things happen in the spring semester. Every year it’s a combination of mass chaos to make sure I’ve planned enough, taught enough, made an impact and basically been the ring leader of my very own shit show—on literally a daily basis. That is my normal.

We are working on Week 6 of Sheltering In Place. And while most now feel like they are hitting their groove and really getting the hang of teaching online and utilizing zooms, I seem to be struggling more and more. I can’t even really pinpoint why I am uninspired—Is it being locked at home? Is it having crappy wifi and everything taking longer than it should? Is it not seeing my kids? Is it the ridiculous amount of zooms each week that feel like they are sucking out my soul? By this point in the year, the things planned, coordinated and organized has me crossing off my to-do list post-it notes right and left. I am the queen of post-its on my desk and I LOVE crossing things off! But these days, I barely have anything to write down.

Now, I am not a crier, but I woke up this Monday and just cried. Because it’s the 6^th Monday I haven’t set an alarm, I haven’t rushed out of the house by 6am to make sure the week is completely planned to a tee and I haven’t made copies or had a mini-pep talk on my 45 minute drive to school. But this Monday is still a little harder. This week was supposed to be our March Madness, our Super Bowl, our World Series… I haven’t made chaperone packets, I haven’t copied schedules for all the kids, I haven’t assembled my color coded schedule in my trip binder. It feels so strange to start a week that should be our biggest week of the year with still so many unknowns. While I appreciate all the work being done for our kids to have some type of virtual experience, there is just no replacement for the feeling of State Conference. State FFA Conference is truly life changing for so many kids. It inspires kids, it models excellence, it provides an outlet for leadership, and it creates connections that last a lifetime. A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a highly involved senior and he said, “I just wish I knew at the last conference (SLE) that I might never see some of my friends again.” That hit hard—straight daggers to my heart. While they have social media, he is right—seniors go to college, or go to work or go to the military and move on from this organization. There will be no goodbyes, no hugs, no last minute selfies while I yell to get in the bus because we’re leaving.

One of my favorite parts of my job is kids being on the state stage being recognized for their hard work. But without state conference it’s just a hard sell to be excited about any of it. The kids feel robbed and they should. The most unfortunate part is there is no one to blame. And in 5 years when things are back to the chaotic normal, this time period will be so significant for the kids that it has affected and most others will have just moved on and forgotten about the year kids got mailed their plaques and awards.

But I have been trying to justify this madness in my mind and be positive and keep kids excited, but at the end of the day it’s flat hard. Kids that have been to state conference, know what they’re missing this week. They know they won’t go to a workshop, they won’t take a photo with their favorite state officer, they won’t fill their bag at the career show, they won’t get soaked on Splash Mountain at Disneyland, they won’t say something silly and turn red in front of Mr. Mooney, they won’t watch the new state officers be elected with blue and gold confetti spraying for what feels like forever.

I know. Don’t say it. I know what you’re thinking. WHO CARES? Me, bitches—I care. My heart is literally breaking for every kid (and teacher) that won’t be in Anaheim this week. It’s just not the same and there is nothing we can do. That’s probably the hardest part to choke down. There is nothing I can do to make this better for my kids. They bust their butts and they have worked hard for this experience that won’t happen. There is no band-aid or remedy for this void. My hope is that the kids that are missing this week can remember the things they loved the most about State Conference. Maybe a person they met, an all nighter they stayed up giggling in their rooms, or a picture that will stay with them forever. But as someone who still remembers parts my high school state conference experiences, I hope my kids can hold out hope for next year and for the seniors they can remember the prior years and the experiences they had and friends they’ve made.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Christopher Reeve

At the end of the day, my heroes are my kids. Even the ones that are struggling right now-- They are trying, working to make sense of having everything that is their normal taken from them. I lean on their strength and bask in their dedication to leadership even when they don’t know when they will see each other again. It’s a humbling experience to watch children be strong despite the obstacles and unknowns.
Until next Monday... Until next Year...

'

Close the Gap

Okay, since I haven’t written anything in a while I figured I would give it a whirl. On the phone yesterday, a friend said I hadn’t written a blog in months and I told her that sometimes I don’t feel like I have much to say(or write) unless I am annoyed. I guess that isn’t the healthiest but it seems to work.

So today, here I am… Slightly annoyed and writing.

An interaction yesterday gave me some perspective to think deeply about my job. What are we doing? Why are we doing in? How do people still not see the value of agriculture education? Where did I go wrong? These thoughts made me think back to a less than positive interaction at the beginning of the school year where a staff member questioned my understanding of my students, their backgrounds and my compassion towards them.

If you didn’t know, our school district has been hammered for the past year for lack of equity. I am a firm believer that this comes from how our district has handled issues between the charter school and the elementary school. That’s my personal assessment. But it has now cast a shadow over every decision made, every email sent, even most conversations and trainings.

But yesterday’s questioning asked for conclusions and perceptions of equity and the cookie cutter mentality within our agriculture classes and FFA on every level.

If anyone were to look at our class rosters, they would know they are equitable in every sense of the word. If anyone looked at our gradebooks, they would see equity. If they looked at FFA meeting sign in sheets, again it would be equitable. If they saw completed Agriscience projects, they would see equity.

However, while our classroom and program are equitable, I am not sure that people understand the real question of equity at the higher levels of involvement. At state conference this past year we had Lupita Cortez Alcalá, Chief Deputy Superintendent of the Department of Ed. speak to the membership. One thing I remember specifically from her speech, was how she addressed that in most cultures it’s not the norm to send a child off for the weekend or week to stay with kids, teachers, and chaperones. When she talked about this, I really thought about how I have been so lucky to have students whose parents trusted that I always would take care of their child on a trip. But I also recognized that this idea would take an entire culture shift to close the gap at leadership conferences and any activity that requires travel. I have even been reading a book recently that addresses gender equity—and probably not the kid you think… It refers to boys and how they learn, why they do or do not get involved in education, test scores, classroom cultures, etc. There are issues everywhere and everyone handles it differently.

While I know there are always gaps to close in regards to student involvement (I would literally take 95% of all my kids to a conference if I could), I can’t help but think how can we make adults understand.

How do we ensure administration understand? How do we make communities get it? How do we get away from the stereotypes that adults perceive to be true? How can we agree to disagree without making others feel inferior (cuz that’s definitely how I felt)? While I can agree there are always improvements to be made, I think we are well on our way to ensure that agriculture education and FFA are ahead of the rest on campus. 

How can we create an education system that appreciates all types of programs as long as they provide opportunities to kids? How do we encourage all programs to step up their game instead of criticizing programs that go above and beyond because its different?

Following yesterday, I still know and maintain that FFA and agriculture education makes a positive difference for kids. We work hardest on campus to involve ALL kids and provide opportunities they would not otherwise have.

“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.” Jiddu Krishnamurti

Apparently, we just have to continue to educate others. It feels like a never-ending battle when you feel passionate about something that works and people still don’t understand. If you've never seen Bre Holbert's retiring address from the 2018 National Convention, I think she sums it up perfectly. (Video)

If only everyone understood Ag kids...

When a kid returns from missing a ton of school, what is your least favorite question?
The question that "grinds my gears" is, what did I miss? or did I miss anything?

Next week, I am taking 11 students to National FFA Convention. Naturally, to help them prepare with being gone we discussed informing teachers of the absence 3 weeks prior, and then each student provided a form for teachers, last week, to assign them work while they are gone. This is so kids can make sure they do the work, and not fall behind in classes upon returning. Simple right?

Apparently not! This year I have had more issues with teachers complaining about the missed school than ever before. I am having a really hard time understanding this? Why does a teacher think they get to de-grade (yes it happened) a student or program for taking an education field trip, just because they miss their class? How is this okay?

While I feel like I my kids are amazing, I am not naive to the fact that they are kids. I know that kid's aren't perfect, but FFA kids are some of the best you can have. They work hard in and out of class-- And the ones that don't, don't go on trips.

National Convention and even State Convention, provide students with invaluable experiences that will carry them beyond the classroom. From www.ffa.org, "In October nearly 63,000 FFA members and guests from across the country participate in general sessions, competitive events, educational tours, leadership workshops, an expo and shopping mall, volunteer activities and more. It is one of the largest annual student conventions in the world."

How can a general education teacher argue with that? How can they think that 4 1/2 hours of class is more important that gaining experiences at the largest student convention in the world?! I hate to burst their bubbles but it isn't. Class is important (I am a teacher), but so are all the skills they learn while gone. 


For many of these kids, it's the farthest they have been from their parents and they handle with class. They look professional each day, they work together, they meet industry professionals and have every college imaginable at their fingertips. Many years, I even have my students participate in a National Day of Service where they perform community service that betters the city we are in. Last year, we packed boxes of food at a local food bank that disperses 16 million meals each year. 
End of rant....
Honestly, I had to prepare for 7 days of a sub, but it's worth it. The kids that go to National Convention are:
Can't wait for next week and the amazing memories we'll make like these...

It's a once in a lifetime type of experience for many kids. How can I explain that to a teacher who thinks their class is the most important thing in the world? I think teachers forget, one subject or class doesn't teach a student everything they need in life. The entire school experience is what makes our kids successful. Programs like FFA and leadership conferences are helping make our kids successful. 


A. Some of my best and brightest
B. Want to be there for the experience (not to get out of school)
C. Are working towards something bigger than themselves. They are determined to be good people!

Never ending fight...

I vividly remember sitting with my high school counselor in her office towards the end of my freshman year. I was about to schedule my classes for the next year. It was a pretty exciting time as I would no longer be a weird freshman (well partly correct). I had already been elected as an FFA officer-- the reporter actually, which may be why it remains my favorite office, who doesn't love being stationed by the flag???

I had already selected classes I wanted on my paper schedule, now all my counselor needed to say was "looks good thanks!" Unfortunately, she looked at my paper, looked and me and blurted out, "you know if you take this class, you won't be on our track for college, so I won't counsel you to be college prep anymore". The class she was referring to was my Ag class. I replied that it was fine and she took a red pen and crossed out my name on her "college prep" list in her scheduling binder. From that day on, she never met with me again to schedule classes. I continued to fill out the papers each year so that I would have all the requirements for a CSU-- by myself. When other kids in my classes got call slips for scheduling, I just dropped off my paper schedule in the office.

Having someone completely ignore my existence for taking a different path than she thought I should, did not hurt my feelings. It really shaped my high school experience, because I knew that not only did other kids think Ag was lame, but adults did too. I think that is one of the reasons I enjoyed college so much? Yes, college life is good but I think I enjoyed the experience because I was around people who had the same appreciation for agriculture that I do. I felt empowered by going to college because I was simply around people who were like me... Well had the same interests, anyway.

I very much appreciate my high school experience because it taught me that if I wanted something, I had to work for it to make it happen. I wanted to go straight to a CSU and therefore, I had to make it happen because I loved agriculture and no adult at my school understood that I could have my cake and eat it too!

I think I had forgotten the subconscious fight I had while in high school? I had forgotten that some people just don't get that agriculture classes are important? I had forgotten that not everyone values people who work hard within the agriculture industry? Until recently. It's an interesting thing to work diligently through high school, then college and even grad school to then have someone tell you that none of it matters. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I know I do a good job for myself and my students. If you disagree-- please stop reading my blog lol.

People forget that every person who attends high school is going to have some impact on our community. Good or bad, high school teachers have the ability to put some pressure on kids to make sure it's a good impact. That is the hope right? Making kids into community minded citizens who will contribute? By not providing different outlets for kids to find what they are good at, we will stifle communities. If we make every kid do the exact same thing and take the exact same classes, some will always feel like they are not good enough. They will live the rest of their life thinking it too. But if kids find out what they are interested in and excel at it, why should we cross their name off the list? Just because it doesn't fit into the cookie cutter mold? Last time I checked, plumbers don't go to a 4 year college, yet they are successful community members whose work is important.

My question is... Why do people who go to school for long periods of time think they are so smart? Now, don't get me wrong, I got my Master's-- but just because I took some classes and wrote a paper doesn't mean I am smarter than a teacher that didn't??? I think anyone who puts in the time to get experience working, is way more knowledgeable than someone who didn't. They understand the process more than a person who learned about it in a classroom. Takes me back to part of the FFA motto, "Learning to Do, Doing to Learn..." If teachers, administrators, everyone and anyone took that approach, we might start being successful in the grand scheme of life. We need more people who are learning to work, more learning to be good people, more who want to succeed and more who have dreams.

One of the things I am certain of... Every kid is innately good, it's the processes and influences that change that. Every kid has more potential than they are ever given credit for because some adult somewhere, doesn't recognize it. Get to know kids, do what's best for them to help them succeed! Pretty simple.

These are the reasons I love my job, regardless of someone else's opinion of my qualifications...

90 days of May

A friend tagged me in this picture the other day on Facebook. 

 

Although I'm not sure how accurate it truly is. At a staff meeting a couple weeks ago my principal said that everyone needed to prepare for the 90 days of May. While I'm fully aware of how busy and crazy the month of May is, I actually never thought about how busy it is for other teachers. 

And really why is May so crazy??? 

The days are longer,

The weather is nicer, 

Kids are restless, 

AP Testing, 

Standardized Testing, 

Placement Tests, 

Seniors are checked out, 

FFA Banquet, 

Fair,

Officer Elections,

Senior Trip, 

Fundraisers, 

Master Scheduling,

The list goes on and on...

May has just begun and yet I feel like it's been May for at least two weeks. Not to mention that I picked up another class to help out for the last six weeks. 

However, this class has given me some perspective as a teacher, adult and potentially a future parent (someday). We have reached a generation of students that literally have no idea how to act as respectful human beings to one another. I like to think that I don't stay in my little bubble of Ag students. But apparently I do!! With a few exceptions of course... 

This new class is all freshmen and none are of an FFA background because it's not an Ag class. It is appalling to think that we have many students in schools, who are so intolerant of each other and each other's beliefs. I like to think we have come along way towards equality and common decency, but I think many of our students are regressing when it comes to being a student. 

I'm probably gonna get flack for this but I think it goes back to parenting. 

#1- If you could be their parent and hold them accountable that would be great! It's pretty difficult for me to hold kids accountable when it's a new concept.

#2- Tell them NO... I know this begins at a young age but them constantly thinking that homework and class work are optional is not okay. 

#3- Teach them respect. While I don't have this issue often, other teachers get disrespected daily-- which is not okay. 

#4- Teach them tolerance. They don't have to like the person they sit next to but teach them enough manners so they have common decency when sitting there. 

I am a teacher... Not a parent... I am here to help facilitate the learning of children. While some days I feel like a drill sargent, it's pretty hard for me to also teach children skills like, respect, tolerance, decency, etc. 

So on top of all the craziness of May, discipline at school seems to be off the chart... Instead of the Hawaiian minion, I'm feeling like the purple one might last until June! 

One thing this class has really taught me is, I would not trade being an Ag teacher for the world!! 

My kids are amazing! Even the ones who are a little rough around the edges learn from the ones who are on their A game. Behavior (good or bad), like success, is contiguous!! 

I think more kids on campus could learn a little something from the "Ag kids". 

While they might be goofy, they are upstanding individuals! 

Wednesday Wisdom

"Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning."

Benjamin Franklin

While at the State FFA Conference this past weekend, I realized a quote like this has never been so true. I have never been so proud of a group of students. As a whole they really worked together, supported each other and were open minded to the new experiences.

I have talked about the summer I was first hired (read my last post), and how I took the officers on a day trip to San Francisco's Botanical Gardens. We spent the day creating goals, talking about growth and changes. One thing that I will never forget was the common goal that they no longer wanted to be a "joke" in the eyes of the section. They had felt so defeated by previous competitions and teachers that they were pretty much at rock bottom.

Over the past two years, I have had this overwhelming feeling that I need to compensate for their rough start in the FFA. Because at the end of the day, I want each of my kids to feel like they had a positive experience no matter how involved they were. So I pushed, prodded and practiced them until they thought I was crazy (well I am so....). This weekend many of those original goal setters, were pleasantly surprised and grateful for the success and achievements they received.

We had such an awe-inspiring four days in Fresno. I am so proud to say I had a student (or two) recognized on stage every day. That's huge for us....

However, there were some disappointments. My two speakers didn't make it to the semi-finals, my proficiency kids didn't win the state title and my CDE teams were not as polished as they should have been. While speaking with one of my kids about how he was disappointed with not winning his proficiency, I tried to remind him about all the growth him, and the chapter had gone through since his freshman year. He quickly came to the realization that never in his dreams did he think he'd even be on the state stage during his FFA career. He was recognized three times this year for his work--once for being our region's Star in Ag Placement, once for his Dairy proficiency and lastly, for his work as a Committee Chair.

This is big stuff... While I know he wished he would have done better, I couldn't be more excited for him. For a student who always wanted to be involved, but had no real clue, to now reading committee reports on a stage in front of 5,000 FFA members-- "He's kinda a big deal"

The growth that my kids have gone through in the last two years has been tremendous. Mostly because they are always working towards my lofty expectations. But more importantly, they are now creating their own high expectations... They no longer feel that they are a "joke", they are working towards making an impact on themselves, their fellow FFA members and now even on a bigger scale. Leadership at it's finest folks!
Success breeds success!
Getting kids to see not only their potential, but to recognize potential in others...

It makes my heart happy... I love my little boogers! Even when they make me crazy!

State Star in Agriscience!!! 

State Webpage Award Winner!!

Helping campaign for Steven!! 

They are just so stinkin cute!